Oh, Pepper Schwarz

There is a genre of fiction that I have become fascinated with. Those practicing this form of writing have brilliantly created a parallel universe where everything is almost the same. The rules of this alternate world are very clear. There is a breath taking precision to it all. It's clockwork, beautiful clockwork. The only thing that stumps me is that it is never labeled "fiction." It never tips its hand, never winks.
I'm speaking of course of relationship advice, either newspaper columns or helpful books.
It's all so bafflingly rational. Phrases that begin "Honey, you probably weren't aware of this, but it bothers me when you ____" actually produce results! "Dear, it hurts me when you say/do that" is followed by a sustained change in behaviors!
The parties involved sit down (probably at a long wooden table in Geneva) discuss their needs and a lovely compromise is reached.
See, in my world (and hey, I may very well be the one living on Earth 2) I don't even know that I'm in an argument until it's too late. And even then I don't know what it's about.
Example:
Jeff: I've been cutting your hair for years. It's time you cut mine.
Scot: What?
Jeff: It will save us $15 toward the house.
Scot: You're serious?
Jeff: Why wouldn't I be serious?
Scot: Jeff, last time you baked a cake, you didn't trust me to frost it.
Jeff: It's OK. I got a book from the library. "Hair Cutting for Dummies." You just have to follow the diagrams and be able to make a straight line.
Scot: Just?
Jeff: *sigh*
Scot: Are you gonna be mad if it turns out bad?
Jeff: You never really wanted to buy a house! Did you?

To be fair, I am as irrational in my own way. I am conflict avoidant. Which, of course, leads to a host of tiny things building up until I burst forth with something like:
"You left the lid off the peanut butter! You aren't the man I fell in love with!"
I suppose that's why I could never be a relationship adviser. I'd tell people things like "Muddle through!" "Suck it up" "It's not such a big thing" "Don't try to understand it, it's marriage" "Try distracting him when he does that, maybe fake a seizure" "Hey, could be worse" & "Just cut his hair, that'll shut him up."
I'm hoping that house hunting will bring out the best in us. We'll rise above our usual selves. That's another distinguishing feature of the real world: Denial.